Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Woke Up this Morning...

Got your self a Gun...

Actually this morning was NPR talking about the resignations of people from Bush's campaign for working on 527's. As found here on Drudge. I wondered to myself how long it would be until someone found MoveOn and crew working for Kerry.

Not long it seems,

someone who is rapidly moving into my morning reading lineup is NZBEAR. I don't know his story yet but he seems to do more research and fact checking then the whole staff of the NEW YORK TIMES. Read his story here.

I have an essay rattling around in my head about blogs taking over the Old media's job of being the 4th Estate and what not. It's a biggie and ties into a couple others I'm working on. Maybe if I wait long enough someone else will write it for me.

Hattip COLD FURY for the guide to Da Bear.

Monday, August 23, 2004

Starting on our Search for Content.

The Posting below was a short little ditty I started a while back. I had recently come back from a yuppie bar watching Plastic Women chasing Plastic Men and was in a snit. Take that night; add in a six-pack, some self-pity and a personal Philosophy that states that some people are only alive today because Saber-tooth Tigers are extinct, and you get that story.

To the Right you’ll see I’ve made some modifications to the sidebar. First Addition is my favorite Blogs, in no particular order. More will be added as time goes by, but as of right now these are the ones I hit every day.
The list is messy right now because I’m having problems with the HTML action behind the scenes. If I try and get one per line, it screws it up and starts adding extra characters. Don’t ask me why, I’m not much of a computer guy.

A Brief Review of the Blogs.
First Off we have USS CLUELESS by Steven Den Beste. If you ever heard of some idea and think to yourself: “That probably can’t work”. Search his site to see if he’s written on it. Well written and fun to read you WILL wind up learning something. I spent a week going through every single page I could get on that site and my brain grew by 2 hat sizes. Satisfaction guaranteed. My girlfriend is Much happier now! I no longer have to feel ashamed at the gym knowing people are looking at my small head. Thanks Mr. Den Beste!!!
He’s been on Hiatus for a while; I check back everyday waiting for my new fix.

Next we have EJECT EJECT EJECT by Bill Whittle. Pilot and Bard the man is a Master of the Gut Punch. That magical feeling when the author waits to the last few lines to really lay it on you. But you never saw it coming because you were too caught up reading the story. It’s called a Gut Punch because when it hits all you can make is a gasping sob sound. Don’t believe me? Try COURAGE to start.
Also been off for a while, Posts Bi-weekly or so.

ANDREW SULLIVAN was my first. And that’s a very loaded statement. A Gay Catholic Conservative, his writings on the Church and current events are striking. Yet another blogger who’s taken August off, but he always does that. Go and read his published essays. He’s the only one I have up that’s actually a real writer. (That I know of.)He’s been slipping off the left side of the charts since Bush started supporting the FMA. But he was loosing his support for Bush back when the deficit started growing.

Michael Gene Hendrix runs COLD FURY. He’s a musician and badass out of North Carolina. He’s about Cars, Women, Motorcycles and generally kicks ass. His rants on politics are great. He doesn’t talk a lot about himself, which is rare in the Blogosphere. If I had to pass out awards I’d give him the Bukowski Medal of Honor. His format is pretty much the way I see this blog winding up, A lot of posting, mostly referencing other blogs or articles on the Web, with color commentary. I did however, like his blog better when he had the Pinups on it.

PHANTOM OF CRANK WHORE is the last on the list. It’s new, very new, and was started by a guy I work with who wanted to comment on my blog. I don’t know how much info he wants out on the web, or if he’s even going to start really posting. But he is my first ever comment so I’ll put his blog up and leave his name off. I’m hoping he starts movie or book reviews. A topic of much of our smoke breaks at work.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

The reason Sabertooth tigers are extinct.

It is my belief that Society started going down hill when the Sabertooth Tiger got itself extinct. But the funny thing is it’s only been in the last few years that We have understood WHY Saber’s went out of business, and the true horrifying effects of this tragedy. Anthropologists have discovered that the reason that Sabertooths are no more is because of two reasons.

Sex and Fashion

Yep ladies and gentlemen one of the greatest predators ever to prowl the jungle got whacked off by man’s desire to not to have to.
(Read that again, you’ll get it)

Sex is a pretty powerful drive and men will do some pretty stupid things for it. Like tricks on motorcycles, or bungee jumping or listening to Celine Dion. But it was in the earliest times that men would do REALLY stupid stuff, like going after 1 ton man eating cats with sharp little pointy sticks.

It is hypothesized that the first “kill” probably wasn’t an actual kill but an accident. Grog the caveman got lucky running for his life from one of the big kitties. Cat probably missed and impaled himself on a tree or something dumb. For no SANE man would go after one. (Note this statement for future reference.) But Man being a scavenger, and an opportunist, quickly deprived the Tiger of his fur and strolled back to camp decked out in his new duds. Which must have been quite a scene. So Grog got him self a new set of clothes and a reputation for being a badass. Now do you really think he could’ve told the truth when some little cavegirl thing looked at him with those big round firm eyes and asked him where he got his fur from? Bastard lied though his teeth, that’s what he did. And like all men have since.

So Grog got the girl. Sounds like a nice story, happily ever after, blah, blah, blah roll credits, fade to black.

But it doesn’t end there.

Because Grog’s buddies noticed what happened. And what was happening, every night when they were trying to sleep, but couldn’t what with all the moaning, yelling and screaming going on. And they were pretty smart people too, figuring out that if they wanted to be doing some moaning, yelling and screaming they should be looking to find some of those Tiger Fur coats too, because the girls really liked them, and they could be found hanging around with Grog. (Who up to that time had been sort of a geek.) So the Best and Brightest went out trying to find some of those coats. And some of the Worst and Dimmest too. Which things being as things are, tend to make for Fat Happy Tigers, and a whole lot of moaning, yelling and screaming going on from the survivors.

But after a while, the children of the survivors got smarter. This being a direct result of all the yelling and screaming going on. And the Cats got Fatter until it really was no contest. Smart survivors, (Real ones, not the television show ones, Ever try and Vote a 1 ton kitty off your chest? Ain’t gonna happen.) And the Cats became extinct. So Man had to move off to other furs, then to cotton and other fibers and eventually to Plastic. Which doesn’t run at all, is relatively non-threatening, and makes for Fat Happy People.

Unfortunately we ran out of Tigers before we ran out of the Worse and Dimmest. Who quickly, with the discovery of Plastic, invaded bars and lounges waving their plastic around, in a pathetic attempt to prove that they can function, (if not as a provider then at least as a borrower), in what can barely still be recognized as the ancient mating ritual. The Best and Brightest stumbled around in confusion, unable to tell Which was Which and Who’s was Who’s. Then the Plastic really started working and enhanced the individuals by creating Breasts where there were none and Hair where it was once barren. The Worst and Dimmest (WDs) were able to fully integrate themselves with the Best and Brightest (BBs).

And then the BBs bred in with the WDs. Increasing the population of the WD’s. (WD being a dominant gene). Soon the world was over run with Salesreps and Midlevel Managers, Used car salesmen, Mall Security guards and Realtors.

Which is why Sabertooth tigers are extinct.

And why it’s still called “Pussy” today.

First Virgin post and a look at our Upcoming Highlights

And on the 22nd Day, of the Eighth Month, Of the Year 2004 AD. (Note "AD" none of that "CE" crap here!) Being the 4th year Of the Holy Reign of George the Second, Infidel Slayer. I set Fingers to Keys in a vain attempt to leave my mark in the world. To step up and Fight the Good Fight. And add my self to the great subconscious that is the Net...